Tag Archives: writing

Revision for Consistency

Even the best laid plans often go awry. It’s true. No matter how much planning or plotting you might do for your work in progress (WIP), the characters soon develop minds of their own and take you to places you never thought you’d go. So you let them go wherever they want and say whatever they want to say, and your book is better for it, but the moment you let them go off-book, you are opening yourself up to a host of plot holes. This is where your first revision comes in.

Last week, I typed “The End” on my latest WIP, Phoenix Station. But it wasn’t the end. Last week only marked the beginning of my first editing pass: Revision.

I’m an editor, and I’m really good at finding inconsistencies in my clients’ plots. Now is the time to put away my author’s cap and don my developmental editor’s one for my own book. In keeping with that spirit, today’s post is all about revision.

Milanote for Outlining

I’m usually more of a pantser than a plotter, but at some point, I always wind up plotting the rest of the book out. Given its plot, I started writing Phoenix Station as a planner. I started out with handmade notes and ramblings, refined that into a word processed chapter summary, and broke that down even further when I stumbled upon Milanote.

In the months since discovering Milanote, it’s become one of my staple tools for developmental editing. Milanote is similar to an endless bulletin board on which you can stick “columns” and add “notes” to layout your book. I like that everything is on the desktop in front of me. It becomes a living document of the progress of my writing.

Finding Plot holes

My first pass is to tie up all loose ends I might have created along the way, aka plot holes. As I revise, I catalogue each chapter in a separate “column.” I list plot events in a bulletted list and reserve a “notes” section for questions that need to be answered on my next pass through the document. I highlight terms, character names, and the names of places so I will be sure to use the same terminology throughout. Text messages are important in my story, so I also highlight each of the strategically placed cryptic messages my character received. This makes it easier to locate later, though Milanote’s search function helps.

Revise for Consistency

When revising your document, I recommend making several passes. The first pass should be devoted to consistency. This applies to descriptions of characters and places as well as the internal structure of the world you have built (especially important for sci-fi and fantasy). I also edit for grammar and word choice as I go. Each pass through polishes my work even more. Creating a separate document that functions as a “story bible” for your work will help. I’m using Milanote, but you could use Word if you prefer.

Next Steps

What happens next depends on what I find in my first pass. I might need another revision dedicated to plugging the holes in my first (and second) draft. I might need to look at diction, imagery, symbolism, foreshadowing or something else. The important thing to note is that I won’t know where to go next until I complete this draft.

Stay tuned to follow my journey as I take Phoenix Station from first draft through to published (fingers crossed) bestseller!

What I learned from William Shakespeare about building character

I taught Romeo and Juliet to ninth-graders when I was an English teacher. It was the perfect play for an introduction to Shakespeare: two kids about the same age as my students making impulsive decisions that got them into trouble. We all think the play is about star-crossed love and the tragedy Romeo, Juliet, and so many other characters suffer because the protagonists challenge the norms of society. Romeo and Juliet’s relationship is a romantic whirlwind that has stood the test of time, but at its heart is another fabulous, forgotten relationship: the “bromance” between Romeo, Benvolio, and Mercutio. It is this wonderfully crafted dynamic I want to discuss today.

Romeo

Romeo is the consummate romantic. He sees the world through rose-coloured glasses. He longs for love, but his devotion is fickle, and he gives his heart over to his latest fancy. Nothing is impossible in Romeo’s mind, even if it is marrying the daughter of his family’s greatest enemy, a girl who could barely be considered a teen. He believes himself to be invincible. Though banished upon sentence of death, he stays in Verona for a booty call. Ever the optimist, he believes Friar Lawrence when he says the fuss over his banishment will eventually blow over, and he can return to Verona a free man.

Benvolio

Benvolio is the pragmatist of the group. He is the only trio member who keeps a cool head, thinks things through, remains calm, and tries to defuse conflicts instead of aggravating them. Several characters rely on Benvolio to give an unbiased report of plot events. After Roseline rejects Romeo, Benvolio convinces him to attend the Capulet party. During Mercutio and Tybalt’s altercation, Benvolio tries to convince the men to discuss matters further at another time, but then Romeo enters, and the duel begins.

Mercutio

Mercutio plays the role of the impulsive clown. His mouth has no filter, which often goads people to anger. Everything is a joke to him, and he drinks to excess. When stabbed by Tybalt, Mercutio jokes and downplays his injuries. Believing he has suffered only a scratch, his friends do nothing to help him and watch him die.

The trio in my writing

When writing, I often recall these three personalities—the optimist, the pragmatist, and the clown—and use them to shape my characters. The protagonists in my novels (like Braelynn in the Braelynn’s Birthright series) often have two close friends. My protagonist is usually the Benvolio of the group. She keeps a cool head in times of conflict and thinks things through. One of her friends is a Romeo, jaded, romantic, always looking for the silver-lined cloud in the storm. Her other friend is a Mercutio, a joker, always trying to make light in the darkness and not always at opportune times.

The trio in other stories

I am not alone in modelling my characters after this famous trio. Here are a few others you might have seen (each of these examples lists the roles in the following order: Romeo, Mercutio, Benvolio):

Supernatural: Sam, Dean, Castiel
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Willow, Buffy, Xander
The Rookie: Lucy, Tim, John
Elsbeth: Kaya, Captain Wagner, Elsbeth
The Big Bang Theory: Penny, Leonard, Sheldon

What other Romeo-Mercutio-Benvolio trios can you think of?

The takeaway

The next time you sit down to write, consider modelling your characters after classic groupings like the one in Romeo and Juliet. To do this, read classic literature like a writer would, not for pleasure, but to question the author’s choices. Try to figure out why the pairings (or trios) of characters work—What has made them stand the test of time? What is their appeal?—and try to create personalities with similar traits, motivations, and relationship dynamics. The ability to pen memorable characters that will pull on your readers’ heartstrings is only a few classic works away.

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Writers Circle Workshop on Self-Publishing: Recap

Thank you so much to the Richmond Hill Public Library (RHPL) for hosting my talk this week on Self-Publishing for new authors. The Writers Circle group at the RHPL are always an amazing audience, and I appreciate their attendance and interest. A special thanks to Angie, who was a very gracious host and had the room open, ready, and waiting for me.

Here is a recap of what I said at the meeting on Wednesday, 5 February 2025.

Exploring Publishing Options: Ways to publish, traditional vs. self-publishing

We began our talk with a review of the current publishing landscape and discussed the difference between traditional, vanity, hybrid, and self-publishing, as well as the pros and cons of each path to publishing.

The Self-Publishing Path: How to self-publish your work

Next up was a discussion of the ins and outs of self-publishing, where and how to publish, ISBNs, EIN/TINs, costs, distribution platforms, formatting, and cover creation.

Building Buzz For Your Book: Your Author Platform and Marketing

We finished with a discussion of when and how to begin building your author platform and some concrete ideas for things you can do to help sell your book once it is published.

Keep checking back on my events page for future, upcoming talks and workshops at the RHPL and elsewhere.

I am also available to give this talk to other groups, schools, and organizations in the Greater Toronto Area. Please see the contact information on my About page if you are interested.

AI as a writing partner? Here’s how…

Writers’ Corner at the Richmond Hill Public Library

Put Your Readers in the Scene: What it Means to Show and Not Tell – a two-part workshop.

What is meant by “showing” versus “telling” and how can you tell the difference? Is it ever okay to “tell?” Is there such a thing as showing too much? Explore these important questions by looking at dialogue, description, pacing and transitions, and learn how to invite your readers into the scenes you write.

Part 1

What is showing and not telling? When is it okay to tell? When should you show? Using imagery to paint a word picture. Active vs. passive voice.

When: Wednesday, March 6, 2024 from 6:30 – 8 p.m.

Where: Richmond Hill Public Library, 1 Atkinson Street, Richmond Hill, Ontario, L4C 0H5

Sign up here: https://www.rhpl.ca/whats-on/calendar-of-events/writers-corner-0

Part 2

Adding sensory detail. Using dialogue to show your characters’ emotions. When is it too much showing. What is information dump? Body language.

When: Wednesday, April 3, 2024 from 6:30 – 8 p.m.

Where: Richmond Hill Public Library, 1 Atkinson Street, Richmond Hill, Ontario, L4C 0H5

Sign up here: https://www.rhpl.ca/whats-on/calendar-of-events/writers-corner-0

4 Tips for Showing the Possessive Form of a Proper Noun

Apostrophe word or phrase in a dictionary

One of the things I see in my editing is that many authors are unsure as to how to show the possessive of a proper noun ending in S. Here are some things to remember to clear up this confusion.

Tip 1: When you have a name that ends in an S, add an apostrophe to show belonging, but only if the apostrophe S is not pronounced.

The ball belongs to Sanders.

It’s Sanders’ ball.

NOT: It’s Sander’s ball. [the S is a part of the name and cannot be separated to add the comma]

Tip 2: If you would pronounce the S to show the possessive, you must add an apostrophe S at the end of the name.

The ball belongs to Cyrus.

It’s Cyrus’s ball.

Tip 3: If a family name ends in S and you want to show the possessive for the whole family, add es’ to the end of the name.

The ball belongs to the Sanderses. [the whole of the Sanders family]

It’s the Sanderses’ ball.

Tip 4: Limit the apostrophes to one per name (or word).

It’s Cyrus’s ball.

NOT: It’s Cyrus’s’ ball.

Keeping these tips in mind as you write is sure to help you avoid these mistakes in the future. It has been said that, on average, it takes about a month to build a habit, so the more you practice applying these tips, the quicker these rules will become second nature.

If you are still unsure of whether you are using apostrophes to show the possessive form of proper nouns, be sure to use a grammar-checker like the ones built into Microsoft Word or Google Docs or an AI grammar-checker like Grammarly to help you with this.

Comma Gain?

Punctuation rules are confusing, particularly those surrounding commas, semi-colons, and dashes. In this post, I tackle the comma: when to use it, and how much is too much.

The Oxford Comma

The Oxford Comma refers to the comma used to separate items in a list, particularly before the “and”. The perfect example of this is

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/oxford-comma

While common sense can help to sort out problems such as this one, when the reader must pause to engage critical thinking skills to sort this out, it pulls them from the narrative and spoils the experience.

Commas and Conjunctions

Use a comma before a conjunction with two independent clauses, but not when there is only one independent clause. For example:

Two independent clauses: I want to eat, and I want to sleep. [Both clauses on either side of the conjunction can stand alone as their own sentences.]

One independent clause: I want to eat and sleep. [Only “I want to eat” can stand on its own as an independent clause.]

Semicolons vs. Commas

In a long list, where there are already commas, use semicolons to separate items in a list:

Once Upon A Time has several subplots going: Rumplestiltskin and Belle, who also double as Beauty and the Beast; Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, which serves as the segue into the Land of Untold Stories arc; and The Dr. Whale/Dr. Frankenstein connection, which may wind up saving Storybrook from evil, once again.

Semicolons are also used to separate two independent, yet related clauses (without a conjunction):

Some fans might say that Rumplestiltskin is the quintessential villain; the Evil Queen comes in a close second.

With the exception of the list rule, a semicolon should never be used in place of a comma, or a colon, for that matter. Note: see example above for proper colon use (or the start of this sentence). In general, a colon denotes a list to follow.

Commas After Conjunctions

Commas should NEVER be used after conjunctions (this is one of my pet peeves). Though we often pause after conjunctions like “and”, it is not correct to put a comma there. Consider my horrible example from above:

I want to eat and, if I can ever find the time, I want to sleep.

If you were to read this aloud, it might sound right, but it’s grammatically incorrect. Per the rule above, the comma should come before the “and”.

I want to eat, and if I can ever find the time, I want to sleep.

This is correct as the phrase “and if I can ever find the time” is an aside. See note below regarding the use of commas and asides.

Is it ever okay to break the rules?

Sometimes, in dialogue, it is okay to break the rules. For example, in I Was, Am, Will Be Alice, Pete, Alice’s boyfriend, asks:

Could I see, like, dinosaurs, or travel to see how mankind evolves a couple a thousand years from now?

Though technically, this isn’t exactly rule breaking, as it is correct to put commas around an aside in a sentence (giving additional information without which the sentence is still an independent clause), “like” is more of a speech habit than an aside, but the commas work in this context.

Glints of Light on Broken Glass: the Art of Showing in Writing

“Broken Window” by Angie D. https://www.flickr.com/photos/51119016@N04/5976540021

Some of the first things new writers are told is to write what you know, and to show, and not tell. Russian playwright and author Anton Checkhov is credited with having said “Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass,” underscoring the latter. Showing can be a powerful tool when used with discretion, but all too often new authors forget to do this, preferring instead to paint their word pictures with broad strokes rather than choose a finer brush.

I’ve often written about how writing is a construct, something artificial made to seem real. Everything authors do, from creating and recreating setting, penning plot, and/or developing character and dialogue is not real. Everything about any given scene is there for a purpose; the trick is to add them subtly so they seem happenstance .

One mistake many new authors make is in how to express the physical appearance of a character. Having the character stand in front of a mirror and take stock, making note of his or her own hair and eye colour, and the shape of his or her jaw, lips, and nose doesn’t work. How many times have you looked in the mirror and taken stock? When I look in the mirror, the bow of my eyebrow is only important to me if it’s time to get a waxing. I notice my eye colour if my clothes make them pop. I may make note of my hair colour, but only if it’s time for a dye job.

Here’s another mistake. When I flip my hair back from my face, I don’t think that my hair is brown with red highlights as I’m doing so. I might be cognizant of the fact that I’m flipping too many times in a day and am due for a cut. I might get frustrated and sweep it back into a ponytail, but I don’t take note of the colour. Your characters shouldn’t either.

When you get into your car to go to work in the morning, do you take time to contemplate that it’s a 2010 slate grey, four-door Toyota Camry? Isn’t it more likely you might think that it’s a beater, or that it’s nearly half-a-decade old and still looks like new? Might you think it needs a wash? Would you rub at a patch of dirt to make sure it wasn’t a scratch? Be annoyed that the neighbourhood kids wrote “Wash Me!” with their finger on the trunk again?

If I describe the car, my reader will know a lot about the make and model of the car, but little about the driver. If I get into the driver’s head and show what he’s thinking, I’m building character. If my reader drives a middle-age Camry, s/he might find a small point of identification with my character. If I show my character as either taking pride in the car or neglecting it, I’ve given my reader a more precise point of connection.

The next time you show detail, consider narrative viewpoint. If you describe something your character wouldn’t normally see, think or hear, then change tack. For example, if I smile, I can’t see my white teeth gleam in the sunlight. I might feel my cheeks ache, the cold air I let in when I part my lips might hurt my overly-sensitive teeth, or I can imagine I must look like a grinning idiot (but I can’t know for sure).

Never forget your job as a writer is to construct an immersive version of reality. Paint your word pictures with fine detail, and texture with character, dialogue and setting, using only the palette colours limited by your narrative point of view.

Have you noticed these errors in the books you’re reading? Maybe you’ve made some of these errors yourself? Share your experiences in the comments below!

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Everything I need know about Allusion I learned from “The Big Bang Theory”

Graphic from wall.alphacoders.com

Allusion is when a reference to something–a person, place, thing, or work of literature–is mentioned in a story. The idea is that people get what the reference means and the connection brings a deeper meaning to the reader’s experience. As an English teacher, I already knew about allusions and how they worked, but it wasn’t until I started watching The Big Bang Theory that I learned how to use them in a piece of writing to help develop rich settings and characters.

[Tweet “It wasn’t until I started watching @BigBang_CBS that I learned how to use allusions in writing.”]

Let me explain. For those who have never seen it, The Big Bang Theory follows the lives of four stereotypically nerdy scientists as they struggle on the outskirts of popularity. They eat, sleep, breathe, and live sci-fi, sometimes literally (remember Sheldon’s Gorn-infested sleep or the group’s misadventures as a Star Trek Next Gen landing party?). Their lives are programmed around television schedules, comic-cons, new sci-fi movies, and trips to the comic book store. But what makes this show especially enjoyable for me are the endless references–some of them quite obscure–to current popular culture. As a devout Trekker and sci-fi enthusiast, I identify with the boys and their never-ending struggle to fit in.

[Tweet “Read about my ‘The Big Bang Theory of Allusion’ as a way to make characters seem real. #WritingTip”]

I’ve adopted what I’ve dubbed “The Big Bang Theory of Allusion” in The Revenant (and my current work in progress tentatively called I Was, Am, Will Be Alice). The theory tells us that, because as writers we want our characters to seem as real as possible, we should make them consumers of current and real popular culture. This is not a new idea. Shakespeare did it, referring to bible passages or ancient Greek and Roman mythology (keep in mind he had 500 years less of popular culture to draw on). In To Kill A Mockingbird, Harper Lee draws on civil war knowledge, politics, and what we now think of as classical literature, but which would have been popular and current at the time, such as Ivanhoe, Dracula, and Tom Swift. Many of the references to movie stars such as Mae West, alluded to in Tennesee Williams’ A Streetcar Named Desire may be lost on today’s readers, but at the time of its release, these references would have brought a deeper meaning to the story for its audience.

The main allusions in The Revenant are about superheroes—Superman, Batman and Spiderman–but there are also references to characters in the sci-fi canon. Zulu, the male protagonist, imagines himself Khan Noonian Singh on the deck of the S.S. Botany Bay fighting his nemesis Kirk, as well as Hook on the deck of the Jolly Roger seeking out his nemesis, the crocodile that bit off his hand. Kat, the female protagonist, imagines herself as Buffy of vampire slayer fame and Zulu as her Angel. Zulu prefers to think of himself as more of the Spike type. Going after bad guys like he does, Zulu draws parallels between himself and Jeff Lindsay’s Dexter, the vigilante who satisfies his need to kill on people who have circumvented the law. There are also references to Hiro Nakamura of Heroes comic book and television show fame. Fans of these shows will recognize the allusions and understand the thoughts of the characters making the comparisons; others might recognize the references as allusions but miss some of the meaning, and that’s okay. We don’t need to know anything about The Gray Ghost Dill offers to swap with Jem if he touches Boo’s house in Mockingbird other than that he’s staking a treasured book on the bet.

[Tweet “Does using too many allusions date your work? That depends on syndication and DVDs. #WritingTip”]

The concern with over-use of allusions is that it may date a piece of literature. How many people will remember shows like The Big Bang Theory or Dexter or Buffy the Vampire Slayer ten years from now? How many in twenty? Given the examples in this essay, quite a few, I’d say. Classic Trek was cancelled in 1969, yet the legacy of that show is still going strong. Shows like Buffy, Heroes and Dexter are still sold in DVD/BluRay collections and available for streaming online anywhere from two to ten years and more after cancellation. Given that The Big Bang Theory is now in syndication, chances are it will continue to be broadcast to tickle the funny bones of future generations with its allusions, keeping anything it references in mainstream popular culture, for years to come.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post on The Revenant Blog Tour. For past and future posts, see my Blog Tour Itinerary.

Elise Abram

Writing in pursuit of inner bliss.